What Drives Smugsy to Low-brow Bro Show
Always high on alert for opportunity, risk-taking in business comes easy to Smugsy and sometimes takes her to peculiar places like the Kirk Minihane Show.
You see Smugsy is a capitalist. She identifies as someone programmed to think in terms of profit and loss, and the challenge of making money she thinks is fun. The buzz of a good market excites her.
Known for epic epiphanies, the ‘Smugsy, Smart and Sassy’ line came like a jolt out of nowhere and makes perfect sense: Beautiful new merchandise made in America sold using the oldest profession in the world.
Imagine durable classy products of the finest quality: the Smugsy Smart and Sassy action figure, accessorized in rich shearling, stylish mukluks, rod and flask — perfect for an ice-fishing adventure.
A luxurious Smugsy T-shirt, fun Smugsy keychains and artsy Smugsy mugs.
For that very special someone, silk Smugsy PJ’s, lingerie and bejeweled lambswool Smugsy slippers.
“Smugsy: P 1 on Day One” is one of several catchy slogans that run through her mind.
She’s edgy, hard-driven and enterprising and Smugsy prefers having her power in society unchained from the machinery of partisan politics. She has thoughts and opinions to add to the mix of public discourse but not by sitting on a committee.
What she wants is an audience for her thoughts and what she needs is a market for her ‘Smugsy Smart and Sassy’ collection.
What Smugsy offers the Kirk Minihane Show is what it wants and obviously needs: a yin to its yang.
A touch of the feminine mystique. A chick. Everyone’s favorite cousin. A sexy voice. Whatever. She’ll float minifans’ boats.
Capitalism will bring Smugsy to the proverbial table if she plays it right, and she loves the freedom to march to the beat of her own drums and Cuban horns. Smugsy has no stomach for campaigns, or being trapped in stuffy hearing rooms with gasbags to make a point.
Glad-handing blowhards makes Smugsy nauseas. Shucking and jiving with so-called '“dick-swingers” selling stuff will make Smugsy bank.
Her smooth sound offers the audience an intoxicating elixir.
A regular dose of Smugsy-purr is the perfect antidote to the rough and rowdy bar fight that sometimes is the ambiance of the Kirk Minihane Show.
Who cares what she says? Smugsy’s tone, her wit and playful use of words will be construed as sex talk and sex sells so why not?
A “Smugsy on the Issues” segment would blow minifan minds! And she has no shame playing a token fantasy cartoon girl alongside Blind Mike if it means freedom of expression and the chance to sell her wares.
In this era of President Trump what’s there to lose? The choice capitalism presents is liberating.
Get bogged down in the shit-show of Washington, DC or peddle ideas for the bad-boy kid of a business run by “Shit President” on Twitter?
You know, “@stoolpresidente?”
Smugsy is smart and sassy with a good message and a sexy voice. It’s that simple. She is the perfect character for a bro show. Her take on the world, what makes a real man, and tone could be very pleasing.
A “Dear Smugsy” advice column might even be fun.