How Smugsy became a Minifan

Adept at fending off bad guys in her youth, Smugsy later learned the hard lesson that getting away is not always getting ahead.

Perverts and meatheads are not the whole problem.

In her career incompetent and cowardly men too often became undeserving gatekeepers and held Smugsy back — and incompetence is hard to fight. Across the political spectrum Smugsy found clowns to the left of her and jokers to the right.

She searched for the good guys and found the partisan sorting of good men from bad is fake. There are jerks and heroes on both sides of the aisle.

Not all democrats are blue and sparkly and woke, and many republicans who call themselves “conservative” are not conservative at all.

The common thread through both parties is the politics of resentment.

On the left there is resentment of success. Anyone “rich” or living in a nice town or driving a new car is a suspect. Those who have it all are deemed incapable of understanding those with nothing.

Extremists on the left gloss over their spasms of envy with self-righteous piety. They know better than you what it’s like to be poor because they’ve been doing it their whole life.

Leftys are not ashamed of their squalor — it’s a sacrifice they’ve made for others — they tell Smugsy with a stiff upper lip.

The politics of resentment on the right is equally annoying.

Right-wingers resent their own failure. They ponder a lifetime of disappointment and seethe. “If only the minorities didn’t come in here and wreck everything,” they mumble as they crack open another cold one.

“You don’t understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could’ve been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am,” they imagine saying on a big screen somewhere.

The plot of common ground in which the loons from both sides of the political aisle stake claim is the yearning for more money, Smugsy has observed.

Deserving to be richer is the common denominator of those who resent the success of others and those who resent others for their personal failure.

Leftys don’t talk about their resentment because they are ashamed of it. How can they want more money when children are starving and the climate is burning? Instead their resentment is expressed by silencing others and shouting them down.

Right-wingers have the opposite problem. They can’t shut up about their resentment, and by God, are surely not gonna take personal responsibility for it.

Smugsy likes to throw punches and move on. She despises groupthink and knows that neither a red nor a blue cavalry is coming to save her. She likes men who empower women and make people laugh regardless of their party.

For some, the Kirk Minihane Show is what crystal meth must be for addicts, but Snugsy is not an addict. She doesn’t have the time. For her the Kirk Minihane Show is more like the New Yorker. Way too much, too often: it’s impossible to keep up. But for now it feels authentic. A refreshing change of pace.

SmugsyCynthia DillSmugsy