The Beginning of the End - Part 1 - A little prick draws only so much blood.
“He appears to have contributed absolutely nothing to society whatsoever, and for that he was rewarded with a blue checkmark from Twitter, and has accumulated over 200,000 followers on Twitter and IG,” said Uncle Turtleboy about David Leavitt, a gamer from Providence who used his social media clout to shame a young female employee at Target over a toothbrush.
The same could be said about Kirk Minihane, thought Smugsy.
You know, the bratty bro who broods like a beast and laughs like a little girl.
Except Minihane has only has 88.5K Followers, according to Twitter, a majority of which appear to be another version of himself.
The Kirk Minihane Show is pretty good at shaming — like when it shamed producer Big Steve over a Periscope clip — but its strength lies in taunting.
Podcast Jesus (as he calls himself) uses his platform and his army of anonymous disciples as a burr under the saddle of the Boston Club — that roster of cultural cool kids in sports and media who stay in lanes and stick together.
“Anyone with clout and willing to scrap online for a few rounds and be the object of manufactured man-rage is a target, I guess,” Smugsy said to herself, “including me.”
As she noticed several unmarked cars whiz pass her on the road to Madawaska for the Kirk Minihane Show ice fishing event..
The Kirk Minihane Show is desperate to continually feed “content” to its hungry and demanding fans, but Minihane is a pussy deep down. He likes to cause chaos but a little prick draws only so much blood.
So he impersonates journalists? And broadcasts in celebration a song about rape and the Red Sox after trying to break in to one of their press conferences?
Most people in the know do like Shirley Leung and avoid Kirk Minihane like the plague.
They ignore him and he gets mad and that’s the harmless routine content his fans expect.
Until Minihane got caught up in an investigation by the FBI over potential terrorist threats, that is.
Taking cues from his pals Lev Parnas and Bobby Hyde, Minihane thought it would be annoying and therefore fun if his army of trolls did to the Red Sox and the Boston Globe what Bob Murchison allegedly did to him.
“Let’s ruin the Red Sox,” he announced to an audience of inebriated losers holed up on their mattresses playing a video game called Discord.
“How shall we ruin them?” his dip-shit fans ask.
“Advertisers,” says Minihane, who also quipped:
“The show will take down the Globe and Red Sox. It is my dying mission. I have true hatred for them.”
Hysterical, right?
IT WAS A JOKE!
Like when Minihane said the Red Sox hate blind people!
Get it?
The Red Sox don’t hate blind people — they just hate Blind Mike because, in the words of Barstool’s @stoolpresidente, he’s a “c*nt,” defined as "an unpleasant or stupid person” by the Oxford Dictionary.
“I thought we were playing! I’m just a schmuck from Massachusetts!” Minihane planned to tell Fox News if they called.
Fyi — they didn’t.
Unfortunately for Minihane’s show and the group of misfits scheduled to gather in northern Maine for ice fishing and idol worship, a security-threat monitor of the Internet was triggered by his sense of humor.
Aroostook County was buzzing with law enforcement when the time came for Smugsy to head to Madawaska to conduct @stoolpresidente’s 4 -step training on how to be a better employee training. (I’ll skip to the end – make a sex tape, essentially. It’s that simple.)
She dreaded the attention her charisma, charm and good taste would draw from Minifans who loved to hate her, but at least the training event was an excuse to wear fur, carry a gun and scream across Long Lake on her shiny Arctic Thundercat ZR 9000.
Maybe it was a good thing Smugsy’s sexy sled was secretly followed by armed FBI agents.
She knew Kirk Minihane was mad as a March hare but when she found him naked and bound to a chair in a Yurt at the end of the frozen lake in the middle of nowhere Smugsy realized he may not be king of the crazies after all.
A killer was lurking in the cold woods and seeking the throne, apparently.